Beyond Destiny: She.Me.Her at 40

I was one who loved the sense of independence and individuality. The feeling of having to ask someone to do a damn thing for me was out of the question!!! After having this hip replacement surgery, the idea of having someone who is willing and wanting to be there for you unconditionally, was something I wouldn’t have never thought I would have in a partner. It’s one thing from your family but having a partner/spouse be there to wash your body, cook your meals, wake up at the sound of you in pain; is one of the best feelings I could’ve ever imagined. When I say my wife has been hands down the MVP (Most Valuable Partner). She has selfless been on hands and knees waiting on me hand and foot. Yes, I have family and friends, I appreciate those individuals, each and everyone of them for check-ins, gifts and just being who they are in my life.  She took me outside today-YESSS. She sees that’s just sitting the house was weighing in on me a little bit. To my wife Angie, you are the Greatest...

How are TRIGGERS defined? Triggers can be defined in the mental health context as “a stimulus that elicits a reaction”.  Who are responsible for those triggers? I never really paid attention to things that would “trigger me”. Showing repetitive behavior I never reconsider or recognized to be something that triggered me to have such behavior. When something traumatic happens to you and you want to never visualize it again you put up a mental memory block.  I started to recognize my triggers while living in Georgia my wife and I were watching an episode of Law and Order SVU, the little girl had been molested most of her childhood and then turned into a promiscuous woman. Well, that made me break down completely-not realizing that was a TRIGGER- my wife asked what’s wrong, I continued to cry and break down, but I finally told her I was or I am that girl. Me stating that she was in tune with what happened to me-I explained I had me getting molested and touched on since the age of ...

 Hellooooo, Good people. I am back from surgery, this is day 5 of Recovery Mode (maybe a title 😉) and let me tell you it has been a journey. The day of surgery my nerves was rattled but my support system, baby nothing formed against me wasn’t going to prosper….. the pray 🙏🏾 warriors was in full effect. My wife held my hand the whole time. (❤️me some her) The day after I felt like I was hit by a car. I have had surgery before but this pain wassss different let me tell you. I was still groggy 🥴 and nauseated. Not eating barely could move my body. Oh but let me tell you, I love my support system. Nonstop check-ins, encouraging words, was at the all time high.  Second and Third day was a little better, but still was having a hard time moving and I was getting discouraged but MY WIFE came with a hug and a kiss to the forehead and made me feel secure!!!  Discharged from the hospital on day 3, I felt like a Celebrity baby..lol Everyone was waiting on me, the nurses was cheer...

 As I lay here 3 days before my hip replacement surgery, I will be 40 in 8 months and I begin to look back over my life I began to think things over (verse from my favorite song “I’ve Got A Testimony”). I have experience some tough obstacles that I can truly say I have overcame with therapy and the love of my supportive and loving wife Angie, children, family and friends. I became a teenage single mother at 15 years old and had to make the best life for my daughter while dealing with the death of  my grandfather whom passed literal  days after I gave birth to my oldest daughter and finding my Papa (my mama’s fiancé) OD in the back of his limo. They were big supporters and I felt my world was lost. Not everyone supported me but I had to say to  HELL with them and make it work the best way I thought I knew how. I had to grow up fast because I had this little person depending on ME!!! Realizing that it was my baby and I against the world, I did any and everything to mak...